It was only a matter of time before my life was again flooded with awkwardness. The dialogue that follows is mostly translated from the original French...
I was in a bit of a rush Friday afternoon as I was a little bit late to meet some family friends on the left bank. We had plans later to go to the Moulin Rouge, so I had put on a cute outfit and was in the midst of a fast walk complete with an appropriate ipod soundtrack when I man in a tight argyle sweater flagged me down. He looked somewhat lost, and being that I am sometimes helpful to my own detriment, I stopped to aid him. He asked me in fast French if I was familiar with the Marais (an area in Paris). When I told him I was, he began what I can only describe as a frantic soliloquy describing his involvement in a literary festival to support homosexual writers. He then asked me where I was from as I clearly understood only about 85 per cent of what he had just said. I told him I was Italian (which I've taken to doing to avoid all the preconceived notions that inevitably accompany the American label). He gave me a book, a love story about two men in Paris, and thanked me for being friendly. He then made the following statement: "French women are so cold, you know? Sluts. They're all sluts." He then asked me for money for the book, "or a condom." I gave him a euro and told him I really had to go. He then told me he had something to give me "for good luck." He started to give me a hug, which turned into some sort of awkward waltz-like dance complete with some mildly inappropriate touching. He then kissed me on the lips and whispered that his name was David and he didn't like girls but that I was very sensual and very classy. He told me where to find him at a later date if I so desired.
I'm pretty sure I'm not going to take him up on that...
Monday, April 13, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Modern Misogyny
I’d like to take a break from my usual attempt to chronicle my European journey in an amusing if not comedic way to make a serious observation. Not only has my rupture with my usual daily interactions and events allowed me to grow as a person, it has allowed me to encounter sometimes shockingly different ways of thinking. Interestingly enough, it took a trip out of America to open my eyes to an American phenomenon I’ve come to find more than a little troubling.
To be honest, I’ve never been on board with today’s strain of the feminist movement. It’s not that I’ve ever found the general message of feminism to be flawed in any way; it’s just that I’ve always found its existence in the 21st century to be unnecessary. The use of “he” as a neutral pronoun has never bothered me. Statements such as “women belong in the kitchen,” or misogynistic song lyrics were more comedic for me than inflammatory.
Clearly men and women are different, but I find the very suggestion that one gender prevails over the other to be beyond ludicrous. Perhaps it’s because most of the people with whom I surround myself in the States are open-minded, respectful males, or perhaps it’s my own naiveté, but I genuinely thought that most educated Americans, particularly those of my generation, shared this opinion. It is this very ridiculousness that provides the comedy for the aforementioned anti-female slurs as well as the suite of others that exist. In my mind, feminism was archaic because the very frame of mind that inspired the creation of feminism was archaic. I thought that misogyny had gone the way of shoulder pads or Freudian psychology – something that was formerly taken seriously but is now somewhat laughable.
Surprisingly, not everyone gets the joke. Even the upper echelons of academia are wrought with men who, while they would never admit it, truly think of women as an intellectually weaker group. I’ve slowly come to realize in observing and partaking in conversations with some of the male students in my program that true misogyny is not a mindset that exists only for the proverbial shotgun slinging, barefoot, uneducated country boy. Despite the raw intelligence, refined education, and by and large liberal political alignment of many of my male classmates, I can’t help but feel that they’ve reserved the intellectual VIP room for the boys club.
I’ve never felt at all hindered by my gender. I haven’t always been secure in my femininity, but I’ve never seen it as an obstacle. My biological and psychological state of being female has never made me feel that there were things that I couldn’t do, places I couldn’t go, people with whom I couldn’t associate, or concepts I couldn’t explore. I’ve only recently experienced the frustration of being boxed out and looked down upon on the mere basis of an extra X chromosome. It is true that I’ll never be able to pee standing up, that I will occasionally find a boost of self confidence in artfully applied make-up and a pair of sexy high heels, but that doesn’t make me a lesser contender in a battle of wits. I assure you I can hold my own.
In a time of new beginnings, a new political regime, new scientific breakthroughs, and the continuous theme of change for the better, it is important to remember that true improvement is impossible without open-mindedness. It is neither possible nor desirable to be completely blind to the differences between the genders, but it is crucial to move past the “bro and ho” mentality in order to make any real progress.
To be honest, I’ve never been on board with today’s strain of the feminist movement. It’s not that I’ve ever found the general message of feminism to be flawed in any way; it’s just that I’ve always found its existence in the 21st century to be unnecessary. The use of “he” as a neutral pronoun has never bothered me. Statements such as “women belong in the kitchen,” or misogynistic song lyrics were more comedic for me than inflammatory.
Clearly men and women are different, but I find the very suggestion that one gender prevails over the other to be beyond ludicrous. Perhaps it’s because most of the people with whom I surround myself in the States are open-minded, respectful males, or perhaps it’s my own naiveté, but I genuinely thought that most educated Americans, particularly those of my generation, shared this opinion. It is this very ridiculousness that provides the comedy for the aforementioned anti-female slurs as well as the suite of others that exist. In my mind, feminism was archaic because the very frame of mind that inspired the creation of feminism was archaic. I thought that misogyny had gone the way of shoulder pads or Freudian psychology – something that was formerly taken seriously but is now somewhat laughable.
Surprisingly, not everyone gets the joke. Even the upper echelons of academia are wrought with men who, while they would never admit it, truly think of women as an intellectually weaker group. I’ve slowly come to realize in observing and partaking in conversations with some of the male students in my program that true misogyny is not a mindset that exists only for the proverbial shotgun slinging, barefoot, uneducated country boy. Despite the raw intelligence, refined education, and by and large liberal political alignment of many of my male classmates, I can’t help but feel that they’ve reserved the intellectual VIP room for the boys club.
I’ve never felt at all hindered by my gender. I haven’t always been secure in my femininity, but I’ve never seen it as an obstacle. My biological and psychological state of being female has never made me feel that there were things that I couldn’t do, places I couldn’t go, people with whom I couldn’t associate, or concepts I couldn’t explore. I’ve only recently experienced the frustration of being boxed out and looked down upon on the mere basis of an extra X chromosome. It is true that I’ll never be able to pee standing up, that I will occasionally find a boost of self confidence in artfully applied make-up and a pair of sexy high heels, but that doesn’t make me a lesser contender in a battle of wits. I assure you I can hold my own.
In a time of new beginnings, a new political regime, new scientific breakthroughs, and the continuous theme of change for the better, it is important to remember that true improvement is impossible without open-mindedness. It is neither possible nor desirable to be completely blind to the differences between the genders, but it is crucial to move past the “bro and ho” mentality in order to make any real progress.
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